In essence, relational intelligence is the ability to function wisely within the complex web of modern relationships in aspiration for happiness, wellbeing, and inner and outer peace.

Dr. Adam Bandelli captures the meaning of relational intelligence as follows:

“Relational Intelligence is the ability to successfully connect with people and build strong, long-lasting relationships.”

He points out that

“With relational intelligence, you can be intentional about how you build connections with others. If you are purposeful about how you build relationships your life will be transformed.”

Relational intelligence encompasses a set of skills that empowers us to clearly see and understand the multiple kinds of relationships in our personal and professional spheres. It affords us to observe and assess the ebb and flow of relationships and accept that all relationships face the reality of harmony and disharmony, and the need for repair and rejuvenation.

Relational intelligence has become an asset that helps us to function successfully as co-creators in all kinds of relationships along our life’s journey. It helps us choose and maintain meaningful and supportive relationships along our life’s journey, or terminate those that undermine our sense of wellbeing.

Dr Birgit Trauer’s approach to relational intelligence reflects the systemic relational-cultural theory perspective and her views expressed in The Way of the Peaceful Traveller.

She draws on various interconnected knowledge domains, specifically those of

Relational Mindfulness
For wise decision-making to experience joyful meaningful connections.

Emotional Intelligence
For greater self-awareness, confidence and resilience as we travel through life.

Compassionate Communication
To champion mutually rewarding and enjoyable relationships.

Dr. Birgit Trauer believes that we need relational intelligence to refocus our attention on the dynamics of relationships across contexts while remaining attuned to the individuals within the relational biosphere.

Relational intelligence connects us with who we are and who we want to be as individuals and as part of relationships. Connecting and relating better to others starts with getting to know ourselves first, promoting individual, relational, and collective wellbeing.

As famous research professor Brene Brown points out in her book Atlas of the Heart:

“Our connection to others can only be as deep as our connection with ourselves” (2021, p.272).

Relational intelligence helps us make more conscious decisions. It is our compass to

  • be mindful of the various forms of ever evolving relationships and their indicators of healthy and unhealthy relational patterns in all our life contexts.
  • Get in touch with our emotions and our core values and remain focused on what matters, honouring our own emotions, needs, and values and those of others;
  • communicate empathically appreciating the importance of mutual care and healthy relational biospheres;

Relational intelligence gives us a voice to express how we feel, what we think, what we need and desire while bearing the health of our relationships in mind – at home, at work, and the world at large. Relational Intelligence is our life-long companion for 

Meaningful Connections
Healthy Relationships,
Inner and Outer
Peace